Marriage doesn’t come without its challenges, and it’s only natural that some turn to social media in order to seek advice. A Reddit post has recently gone viral after one woman posting as u/throwrat56971 discovered that her husband put down the word “divorce” in his “new life goal notebook.”
Since it was shared on the r/TrueOffMyChest subreddit, the post has generated a total of 13,300 upvotes as well as 1,900 comments (and counting). The OP (original poster) captioned the post: “I found the word ‘Divorce’ in my husband’s yearly goal section of his ‘Life Goals Notebook.'”
The 29-year-old woman described how she and her 33-year-old husband have been “happily married for [three years],” and how the couple was “about to try for a baby together.” However, according to the OP, her husband had recently been offered an overseas job opportunity that although “he really wanted,” he didn’t end up accepting due to the wife’s objections.
“I told him I wasn’t going to accept leaving home and basically uprooting my life,” she said. According to the woman, the couple had since moved on and stopped talking about the issue.
To the wife’s surprise, she had then discovered that her husband wrote the word “divorce” in the yearly goal section of the “Life Goals Notebook” that he had acquired just a month prior.
“This was the biggest shock in my life so far, I haven’t brought it up to yet and I don’t know why,” the OP wrote.
“I feel awful, just completely shocked and can’t even look him in the face especially when he’s acting like nothing’s wrong,” she added.
The wife described that she is now feeling “afraid” of what the husband might be planning, finishing the post by saying: “I sense a shaky future and unstable life already. I’m so devastated right now.”
According to the latest report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there were a total of 630,505 divorces in the US in 2020, with a rate of 2.3 divorces per 1,000 total population. The data also shows that US divorce rates have fallen since before the pandemic, with 2020 accounting for 116,466 fewer divorces than in 2019.
Many users took to the comment section to offer the woman some advice and propose different solutions. Some suggested that the couple should resolve their issues before they try to conceive a child.
“Better have a conversation before children are in the picture,” one user wrote.
“Definitely. Whatever you do, DON’T try to have kids to “save the marriage.” It doesn’t do you, your husband, or your kids any favors,” another commenter agreed.
Meanwhile, one commenter suggested that the only way to “fix this is communication…either that or separation.”
Another user was trying to see things from an “optimistic” perspective, guessing that the husband could have written the word down while “upset about not being able to take the job offer” and “thinking it was private and in the heat of the moment .”
“Regardless, OP needs to have a discussion with her husband [as soon as possible],” the commenter suggested.
“My guess is he really wanted that opportunity and now realizes how bitter he is about not having a discussion about it. If he can’t move on the resentment will kill your relationship,” another user wrote.
Quite a few users also expressed sympathy towards the wife’s feelings. “It’s truly so f***ed up to me that someone who is considering divorce and has not communicated it to their partner would still be actively trying for a baby with their spouse who is completely in the dark,” one commenter wrote.
This wouldn’t be the first time that an internet user has taken their thoughts to social media to share their relationship issues. Newsweek previously wrote about how internet users criticized a husband for not helping his 15-week pregnant wife with household chores and cooking. Earlier this year, internet users backed a woman who had decided to not let her husband attend her child’s birth after he refused to get involved with the pregnancy.
Newsweek has reached out to u/throwrat56971 for comment.